we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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