I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
he puts the penis in happiness.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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