he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
