Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
