I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
did i walk over a car last night?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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