I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize
