At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
