Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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