so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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