I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
