I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
