make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
