I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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