my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize