my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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