Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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