is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
