I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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