It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
