Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
