So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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