my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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