I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
she pinky promised me she was 18
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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