Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
