and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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