Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
