can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
wow bdsm is so cute
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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