watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
