You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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