he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
