kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
