i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize