I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
