so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
