My liver just broke up with me...
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize