just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
