the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
