he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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