dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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