Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
