Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
