guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
