You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
