i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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