TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
