she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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