ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
