Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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