thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
