I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Text me some of your sweat
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
