well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
