You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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