Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize