Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize