Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
